Sunday 24 February 2013

The road we walk....


Funny how life is full of twists and turns. My father it seems had an interest in photography. I knew from being a very small child back in the 60’s he supposedly had a darkroom and cameras in earlier days. Nothing was ever said about what happened to the dark room or the cameras. I just presumed he had sold or traded them as needed during those tough lean years after my birth. The only 2 cameras in the house, - an old box brownie (which I actually got to use for 1 roll of film) and my mother’s camera, I can’t recall ever seeing that one used.  I think that may have been a gift from my father. There were several large boxes of 4x6 glass negatives around too, something my father acquired from an old family friend – the last UK member of that particular de Helsby line. He kept the best plates to one side, the rest got Brillo pad wiped clean and the glass used for various projects or even worse, disposable mixing bases for two part glues.

When really started in photography, back in the late 80’s I started with a Zenit 12. Up to that point I’d really only used instamatic types, the sort that took the mini film cartridges.  My father and I were still on good terms at that point but oddly I can’t recall any conversation about cameras, maybe he mentioned darkrooms, maybe my mother repeated what she had said all those years ago, I really can’t remember. It wasn’t unusual for my family not to say a lot on things, they tended to try out a lot of hobbies and interests over the years, then moved on, things became footnotes, not revisits.

 My use of the Zenit was severely restricted by cost of film and developing.  I tended to limit use to my other hobby at that time; I wrote for the Journal of the BKA and required images to match.  When that camera failed, and I had moved on from the BKA, my photography took a break.  I returned when digital started to become of useable quality and more importantly, - affordable.

After moving here to Australia I met and talked to my father’s first wife Maria. My elder half-sister had moved here many years earlier and had sponsored her mother and her step father over as soon and she could. This meet was an absolute revelation to me, all those blanks suddenly filled, all those questions I had about his motivations answered.  I was concerned before the meet; I anticipated resentment, long held annoyances and worse.  What I found was a woman generous of spirit, with fond memories, and warm welcome. In all the conversations I have had with Maria, she has never said anything negative about her first husband, my father. Nor has she voiced any criticism of my mother, a person she has every right to resent.  She has explained my fathers repeated weakness for the opposite sex and his leaning on her own father for money with deep sympathy and understanding. 

My father died in 2006, two years after my move to Australia. Over the years as sometimes happens in families fractures had occurred. By the time we emigrated the relationship with my younger sister was already irreparably gone. The relationship with my father had been increasingly difficult, that with my mother well-nigh impossible, to the point where returning to England during his last weeks as the cancer took him was out of the question.

To quote a minor sci-fi series:-“The road we walk is paved with the stones that scar our feet.”

I was absolutely over the moon to get the offer of this camera from my elder sister a few weeks back, she thought it would mean most to me, a link to my father I won’t be inheriting any other way.
 
 

This camera (a Kodak 1 Pocket folding 120, serial No 997544) he gave to Maria in 1946, having bought it second hand. He had met Maria during the war in Italy, returning there to collect her after his demob from the RAF back in England. Apparently as he got to her house he called to her with a two tone whistle, a signal they had often used. In his second marriage the same whistle was used to herd up the kids, - myself and my younger sister when needed. I’m absolutely positive it would never have been used had my own mother ever known the history to it. I wonder what tugs and emotions he felt when using it or hearing my mother whistle in the same way. Perhaps like giving a camera to my own mother it was his way of recreating something he lost.

My elder sister tells me that our father had a little darkroom set up with a black out curtain in an alcove off the hall in his parent in laws house in Naples, Italy. This would have been prior to their move to England. Perhaps this is why photography was not discussed; maybe it actually harks back to his first marriage and as such would have been an interest on his “avoid” topic list.

I do wish we could have shared a common interest, and wonder if it may have reawakened the man and father I knew before his retirement around 1992, now I can only wonder.

I’m sure this camera will work. I can still get 120 film and the lenses have been cleaned.  I’m not absolutely convinced shutter speeds are correct but believe they will be close enough to get an image. Bellows are light sealed I’m sure. There is a slight lean in the lens plane relative to back plate so a little finger pressure may be required to level out for shoot. I’ll meter off the digital camera or maybe use my handheld light meter.  I’ll try with an ISO 50 film when I find some. I have downloaded the manual and no mention of film speed in there for given settings. Presumably when the model was new there wasn’t a choice.